What a year! It’s been one year since Baby V made me a mommy! Oh the emotions. While it will mark one year since his birth, it also is one year since I began exclusively breastfeeding. One year since I learned how to be selfless in every possible way. One year since I learned that to be a mother is to forever have your heart walk around outside of your body.
The most important is thing I’ve learned has been to never neglect the woman I was before becoming a mother. Balancing motherhood and the world we live in cans sometimes be very difficult, we tend to forget who we were before and lose focus. This little tiny human we have brought into this world quickly takes over our whole days. From the minute we wake up until we fall asleep, we are constantly racing against the clock to be a mother and fulfill our duties as employees, wives, daughters, friends and so much more.
Towards the end of what they call the “fourth trimester” I developed separation anxiety and experienced what is known as “mom guilt”. My body would physically shut down and my mental health balanced on by a thread. Am I a good enough mother for leaving my baby while I work? Would I experience every milestone with him? Would I be the first one to hear him say mama? Watch him take his first steps? Tuck him in at night? After all it is in my nature to be a perfectionist.
I’m here to remind any mom that is going through the first year after birth that YOU ARE ENOUGH even when our minds play tricks on us to make us doubt ourselves. I also learned the following and hope that with this post I am able to help someone else-
- Ask for help. Don’t drown while every day tasks.
- Do not feel bad to ask for a night off. We all need it for our mental sanity.
- Reach out to your friends. They haven’t forgotten about you. Sometimes voicing any frustrations helps build connections you didn’t know could exist.
- Find something that makes you feel like the old you. Whether it’s getting your nails/hair done or going out for a run. Make 15-20 mins a day for you to prevent burn outs.
- Consult a specialist if you need help. It’s okay to ask for help. It’s okay to talk to someone about emotions you cannot always explain. It is all part of the process.
- Breathe. No matter how bad the day may have been. This little human things you are the biggest ray of sunshine to walk on this planet. You are there person. Tomorrow will be a better day.
- Cry it out. Allow yourself to feel emotions, it allows you to release and grow.
To all the mommas out there… it truly takes a village. Celebrate motherhood, because you too were born the day your little one came into your life.